i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
