we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
