Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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