the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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