just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
