He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I could fuck to npr.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
