I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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