I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
