summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
