Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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