Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
