Where is the hickey?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
