Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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