she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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