I wannas sexs uuuuu
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
