What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
So. Much. Porn.
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