lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
