At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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