this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
