There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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