It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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