$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
