ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
