; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
More tranny stories later!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
