Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
