Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm bleeding and have questions
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
