I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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