Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
