I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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