I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize