maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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