Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
