Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
