I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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