dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
