Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
