READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
