do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"