so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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