dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
