guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I think i got beer on your cat.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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