ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
