It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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