I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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