when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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