i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
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At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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