Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
