How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I am naked and annoyed.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
