Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
