I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
