i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
