dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
