i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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