you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have post one night stand depression
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
