All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
