im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
