I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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