Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
